ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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