my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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