Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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