We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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