She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize