I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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