i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The best revenge is premature balding
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize