I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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