Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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