she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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