As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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