Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
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