Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize