Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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