Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize