I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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