So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
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I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
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I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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