I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize