i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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