i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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