I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
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so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
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Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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