Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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