theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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