last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize