we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it's like iHOP with fire
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
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She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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