Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino http://tfl.nu/qzo5
  Replies (8) Good night (562) Bad night (2856) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute. http://tfl.nu/qqzp
  Replies (147) Good night (1473) Bad night (3781)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge http://tfl.nu/3yfn
  Replies (32) Good night (530) Bad night (4928) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?

  (646): View more from New York

  Lmao what?

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's a yes or no question.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms? (646): Lmao what? (917): It's a yes or no question. http://tfl.nu/ypn0
  Replies (20) Good night (4942) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo. http://tfl.nu/gbo1
  Replies (44) Good night (2238) Bad night (5138) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again http://tfl.nu/dw4b
  Replies (20) Good night (3697) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked. http://tfl.nu/g0yc
  Replies (13) Good night (4346) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud. http://tfl.nu/swnn
  Replies (15) Good night (4294) Bad night (1383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot. http://tfl.nu/xkom
  Replies (4) Good night (2558) Bad night (1219) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i think that dennys waitress has my boxers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i think that dennys waitress has my boxers http://tfl.nu/oyrc
  Replies (15) Good night (3336) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated http://tfl.nu/m0r0
  Replies (4) Good night (1725) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/7tli
  Replies (20) Good night (3965) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting http://tfl.nu/1alo
  Replies (10) Good night (886) Bad night (2779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog http://tfl.nu/oh2n
  Replies (16) Good night (2681) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom. http://tfl.nu/6cke
  Replies (9) Good night (964) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

Randomize