dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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