I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize