this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize