so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
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I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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