WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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