My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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