My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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