When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize