Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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