I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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