It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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