I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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