Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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