She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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