I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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