...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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