You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize