I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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