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Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
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