I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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