is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize