turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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