You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize