I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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